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The Babylon Bee expands to Canada - Introducing The Babylon Beaver

The Babylon Bee expands to Canada. 

Shawn Cuthill named Editor-in-Chief of new satire site northern venture

WORLD·Mar 31, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

TORONTO — Today Babylon Bee CEO Seth Dillon announced a Canadian partnership that would see the popular Christian satire site expand north of the border. 

"After 18 years of fantastic fooling, Shawn Cuthill is one of the internets premier tricksters" said Dillon from Bee headquarters in Jupiter, Florida. "From his classic Amish Pandemic spoof to pretending his son was a bitcoin millionaire, Shawn has proven nobody is safe from his gags on April 1st. We wanted to harness that hilariousness and approached Shawn about taking the Bee to the home of the Beaver - Canada!"

 The Babylon Beaver

The new spin-off website which will be called "THE BABYLON BEAVER" launches today, April 1st to celebrate the Superbowl day of satire April fools. 

Earlier this month Cuthill flew to Florida to meet with Dillon, Kyle Mann and the rest of the Babylon Bee staff.  "Who else could we find in Canada that is openly Christian, creative, callous and confusing - the 4 pillars of our corporate mission statement - to expand the Beehive" 

"I gave up trying to tame his inner prankster years ago" stated Cuthill's wife Hayley. "I figured it was time to embrace his talent for trickery with this new venture. In recent years the whole family got involved. Our daughter was spoofed being Anne of Green Gables, our son became a bitcoin millionaire, our other son photographed the Amish prank and I even got dressed up in a Burka one year! It's a family tradition!

Visit Cuthill's new website at: www.BabylonBeaver.com

April foooooooools! Or is it??

For previous years April fools jokes CLICK HERE!

Ontario to recognize Ramadan as official holiday. 30 days off for eligible workers

On the eve of Ramadan, the latest election ploy by the Ontario Conservatives proposes Muslim workers be granted 30 days paid leave in accordance with their faith.

"My friends, it's time for us to move past the Judeao-Christian holiday schedule and embrace the diversity that makes Ontario great" Ford said during a press conference at The Islamic Society of Toronto 'Darus Salaam' Mosque in Thorncliffe Park.

The same day, a new poll had the Conservatives with a sizeable 10 point lead with just under 3 months to go until the June 26th Ontario election.

"This year Ramadan will be extra special, as our government will officially recognize the holy month as a statutory holiday. We know the struggle our Muslim friends face during this month, not eating all day at their jobs and then having to stay up all night being force fed by aunties while visiting mosques to catch up on religious duties they neglected for the rest of the entire year" Ford continued "With this new holiday, our government will make sure no Muslim Ontarians will have to suffer the sleep depravation, bad breath, blurry eyes, low blood sugar and diabetic tendencies that we all know and love during this wonderful joyous spectacular holy month which I am obligated to only speak about in glowing terms."

Mosque leader Aly Hindy commented on Ford's plan: "We are pleased that the premier recognized one aspect of our religion, and we thank him for that, but we continue to push Mr. Ford to recognize the multiple marriages our faith allows us which we currently have to hide from his government!!"

Noteworthy in this announcement is the fact that last election Ford lost both of the largest Muslim ridings, Flemingdon Park and Thorncliffe Park (and losing to former Premier Kathleen Wynne at that). His government has been busy in the area working with Metrolinx to hand over 50 million dollars to help build a mega mosque which will host thousands of worshippers, while only providing 130 parking spaces. Traffic studies have been promised once its too late.

The announcement drew controversy as the proposed name of this holiday would be: RamaDOUG

Also controversial, under Ford's new holiday workers will have to apply for work permits and undergo a circumcision inspection which human rights groups have denounced.

Ford defended his decision by saying: "Look I'll just say Assa-lame-o-lake-umm to all my Muslim brothers who are here today and the sisters who I am told are here somewhere in the back. And listen folks please don't let April fools day overshadow the joy and happiness that comes from not even swallowing your spit from sun up to sun down for a whole month to earn Gods love. Any April fools jokes about Ramadan obviously will not be tolerated! 

APRIL FOOLS!!!

For previous years April fools jokes CLICK HERE!

Cuthill of the day 27Sept2021 - Pastor Larry Cuthill

Alright athensBLOG fans, i'm rolling out a new feature on this blog, which is part of a project i've been working on through Covid/lockdown/plandemic to trace my family tree! Cuthill isnt the most common last name so while everyone was shut-in watching Tiger King i started sorting through some amazing old documents my grandpa Alex Cuthill gave me before he died in 2005.

That lead to starting the 'Cuthill ancestry' facebook group to help find other Cuthills and see how far back i could track my line:

https://facebook.com/cuthillancestry

Many Cuthills joined and we also spun off a private discussion group which has been amazing. I've met so many Cuthills, but the search continues for how we're all related. If you're a Cuthill please join and let us know how we're related!

One other feature i started was a 'Cuthill-of-the-day' to post in the facebook group when i would find interesting or newsworthy Cuthills. I figured one way to increase the google searches would be to feature these on my blog. So here is the 'Cuthill of the day for September 27, 20 21:

Pastor Larry and Patti Cuthill, Glenwood Presbyterian Church, Deland, Florida:

https://beacononlinenews.com/2021/09/18/glenwood-church-sows-a-garden/

"Pastor Larry Cuthill with his wife, Patti Cuthill...said the idea came about five months ago, as church members were asking themselves how best to serve the Lord and their community.

“It’s not new,” Cuthill said. “Other churches and organizations have offered space, guidance and materials for a ‘community garden.’”

Also, a short bio on the church website: 

https://www.glenwoodpc.org/leadership/ 

Dr. J. Lawrence Cuthill (Larry or Dr. C) came to us from Winter Park Presbyterian Church where he served 19 of the 47 years he has been ordained in the Presbyterian Church U.S.A. He is fond of saying he retired but “failed at retirement”, returning to serve as Pastor in late 2012 at Glenwood Presbyterian Church.

Bitcoin frenzy turns 17-year-old Sylas Cuthill into Canada's youngest millionaire

Look who made the paper again! 

A little back story on our bitcoin boy. As many of you know Sylas was a very active child, very interested in how things worked. When you'd tell him not to do something he would always ask why, or try it to see why you told him no. He had a very hard time in school and one year his teacher gave him a certificate awarding him the title "King of Questions" in the class. He developed a love for puzzles and Rubix cubes, solving 3x3, 4x4, 5x5 and other specialty cubes 

After this he began taking computers apart. All manner of gadgets, motherboards, monitors and wires. Whenever the school would have a computer problem they would call him over the intercom to come down to the office and fix it. Tech support, AV club, Minecraft servers consumed him. Even when he got suspended (several times) it was for changing teachers passwords, giving himself admin right on the TDSB network and emailing the entire school board! 

At this point Sylas was in middle school (where he won the IT award) and a few teachers really encouraged his potential. They would all talk about a new currency called "Bitcoin" and how it could be "mined". Sylas was still young but started slowly accumulating these "coins" along with all the other things he was trying. After this he was accepted into the STEM+ program in highschool and really started to get interested in tech and finance. We weren't sure what all these "coins" were but they were sure accumulating!! Could they really be worth something??

After 10 years of mining these coins Sylas was able to cash them in and become the youngest Millionaire in Canada!! We're so proud of our inquisitive little guy, who also got his drivers license this week. And can you guess what he wanted to do with his money?? That's right, buy the car he's been talking about his whole life - a TESLA!

Here he is at the dealership picking up his brand new car!! As you can see on the video his first reaction was "It smells like a million dollars baby!"

Previous years April fools jokes click here

Coronavirus drove me Amish: The true story of a city family that left it all

Dear friends,

Over the years many of you have connected with me on various internet platforms. From early tools the web offered us to communicate with like Hotmail, ICQ, Napster and MSN, it was a thrill to connect with so many of you. Then as the internet matured past the "Dot Bomb" era into 2.0 applications like blogs, discussion forums and Wikis, writing tools gave independent publishers power to share their ideas with the world! Next video sharing startup Youtube made sharing virtually any video of anything possible.


Then everything changed again when one Harvard student coded his new social website "The Facebook". At once all those shared items could be pooled together in profiles and our lives truly began to be lived out online for all the world to see. Like you, I dove head first into this promised technological utopia creating blogs like this one, forums, wikis, youtube channels, facebook pages and the like. After studying at college I worked in the IT field at a major bank. Technology was my life.

Now, in the midst of a global pandemic, we have finally seen the ugly truth about our Brave New Technological World! The Coronavirus COVID-19 has brought to the forefront what we can no longer ignore. We have been reduced to slaves! Lurching from day to day on our phones. Zombies. Captivated. Transfixed. Unable to break free.

I am announcing today that myself, along with my family, will no longer participate in this slavery!

Beloved, consider what this pandemic has shown us about the powers of darkness! Instead of simply hiding in the shadows, they are now not ashamed to show their faces in the light! Data breaches are as common as days of the week! Companies continue to mine data from smart TVs and smart phones despite court orders, fines and outrage! There is no stopping the Antichrist from establishing his one world government and implementing the mark of the beast!

How far can we be from embedded microchips?

Or is it already too late? Are we already in the end times? Beloved take heed!

Join me in taking back our souls, our freedom, our minds and the future generations of children who will be enslaved by this system. Join me in returning to a simpler, more biblical time.

My family and I have sold all our belongings and purchased a farm 

to join with fellow believers who have already awoken to these truths. Make no mistake, we did not make this decision lightly. For years these thoughts have swirled, but now after being quarantined by our own government in our own houses and told where we can and cannot go we knew it was time to act. And act swiftly. Drastically. Emphatically. Our grandchildren and great grandchildren are watching. 

Friends, from this day forward I will no longer be using this grid of information. No more posting on the internet. No more using electricity to determine our movements. No more cell phone towers towering, no more radio waves waving. No more microwaves, ocean waves, flag waves! No more hand-shaking, fist-bumping, mood-altering, chemical-engineering, mandalorian-ing! No more baby-yodas, bird surveillance, drone-footage, squirrel reconnaissance, society-conforming, toilet-paper-hoarding, hand-sanitizing, video-gaming, netflix-binging, insta-gramming, meme-sharing! I will NO LONGER LIVE LIFE THROUGH ANY FILTER

If you see with spiritual eyes, like i do, then join me at our new family farm!

We own 75 acres of pristine land set aside for anyone who wants to be part of God's remnant on earth.

Join us before it is too late!
Join us while there is still time!

Join us in this AMISH PARADISE!!

After much prayer and thought our new community will be know as: 

The Valley of FOOLS

!APRIL FOOLS!

Happy April Fools!! 

For previous years April fools jokes please see this link

Toronto: You my Chick-fil-A

In case you missed the grand opening of Chick-Fil-A in Toronto this fall here's a short video of all the pandemonium featuring yours truly! Recently Chick-fil-A opened their second store in Toronto at Yorkdale mall with much less fan fare. In total 15 stores are planned: 

The decade of double-yoke blessing

Each Christmas I spend the month of December making social media. posts with the hashtag #30DaysOfChristmasSelfies. This allows us to show details of our Christmas outreach and give some insight into our life and ministry.

For my final post of 2019 (and the decade of the 2010s) i posted last picture taken last decade (Dec 2009). 

Hayley was making breakfast with Olivia and cracked 5 double-yoke eggs in a row. Looking back now i can see that it was a prelude to a decade of Gods tremendous double-yoke blessing on our lives!! Here are a few highlights:

*Family blessing as all 3 kids were accepted and graduated from the TDSBs gifted program. 

*Spiritual blessing as God worked in our hearts to heal, grow and break generational sins

*Ministry blessing as we grew to over 10 staff, 7 underground churches in 5 languages.

*Financial blessing as God opened the door for us to buy a (fixer-upper) house in Toronto and rent it on Airbnb

*Personal blessing as we were able to learn how to take vacations and rest in Antigua, Arizona and Disney

And so many many many more!

Lord, you are too good to us! We trust you for the next decade and dedicate it to you!!

Happy New Decade!!

Introducing : Face Tattoos for Christ

As many of you know Hayley and I got our wedding rings tattooed on when we got married.
This was a way to show that our commitment to each other would last forever.
Thinking about my relationship with Jesus recently I was convicted that I wasn't showing the Lord the same level of commitment. So I decided to get a face tattoo. I know i know it's a bit extreme, but talking it over with Hayley we decided it was the right thing to do. Now hear me out.

I got the tattoo this weekend and a few close friends and I saw the impact the tattoo had as i ordered McDonalds, walked through the mall and rode the TTC. So many people asked me about it and we realized it wasn't just a way for me to show my commitment to Jesus, it was also an amazing way to reach out!
The next generation is tattooing their faces at an alarming rate. Everyone from Justin Bieber to Post Malone has a tattoo on their face. We realized having tattoos of Jesus on our faces was the perfect way to reach the next generation!!

So with a little help and prayer a new ministry was born:

Face Tattoos For Christ!

FTFC seeks to reach the next generation where they are in a way they understand
As the Bible says: we should become "all things to all people that we might reach some"
If Paul were here today perhaps he would say: "to the thug i became a thug", "to the mumble rapper i became a mumble rapper", "to the instagram model i became an instagram model"

Get involved in this exciting ministry:

DONATE: If we can raise $10,000 another pastor in our network will get a face tattoo! https://www.gofundme.com/face-tattoos-for-christ-ministry-ftfc 

TAT YOUR FACE: Send us a pic of your face tattoo for Jesus

GUEST SPEAKER: Invite a guest speaker to your church to share about Face Tattoos for Christ

More info about this exciting ministry on our facebook page: www.facebook.com/facetattoosforchrist

Since we are a new charity we will only be accepting donations until 12 noon on April 1st.
Happy APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!

Lukas' baptism!

Proud moment in the Cuthill home as Lukas decided to get baptized this fall!! Him and a few friends provided a very special service on Dec 16, 2018. Below are two videos. One is his testimony and the other is the baptism. Pray for Luke as he grows into a wonderful young man: