For my birthday this year I'm officially declaring my candidacy for Mayor of Toronto!!
It's about time the people of Toronto had a real leader that's not afraid to put Thorncliffe Park first! Join me for my campaign rally tonight at Bamiyan Kabob and we will send a message to this city that together we can accomplish great things.
With my 4 point plan for the city, you can ‘Count on Cuthill’ to get the job done. My plan will ensure prosperity and security for years to come.
- First I'm going to connect the 400 south to the Gardiner, regardless of the insurmountable debt and lawsuits, we need to get that done amiright??
- Second, and I mean first, Torontonians that find a way to get rid of all the raccoons will be given a medal of honour, as well as one of the houses on the island that never go up for sale. That person will be a hero for ridding us of those vermin's.
- Third, I'm not sure how but I'm for sure gonna buy the 407 and completely get rid of the speed limit. I mean like if I'm paying, I'm definitely speeding.
- Fourth , we will immediately sell the Toronto Maple Leafs or maybe relocate them to Sudbury or whatever we need to do to get rid of this team once and for all. For the love of Wendell Clark, it's like an old dying dog we gotta put that terrible team out of its misery.
Fifth, ya i guess it's more like a 5-point plan, we're definitely putting a huge cross on top of the CN Tower. If Brazil can have that huge Jesus statue, we should be able to have some light up starboy-style weeknd glowing enormous cross to shine the light of Jesus through everyone's blackout curtains for miles around 24 hours a day!! That will be sure to bring revival.
Message me with your ideas or to join the campaign team. Text *APRIL FOOLS* to 416-397-2489 or call 311 and yell "Count on Cuthill" at the operator.
Together, let's unite to send a message to the city that Chow is for the dogs!! No more Olivia's in government! Who's with me?????
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