Saturday, April 01, 2023

The Babylon Bee expands to Canada - Introducing The Babylon Beaver

The Babylon Bee expands to Canada. 
Shawn Cuthill named Editor-in-Chief of new satire site northern venture

WORLD·Mar 31, 2023 ·

TORONTO — Today Babylon Bee CEO Seth Dillon announced a Canadian partnership that would see the popular Christian satire site expand north of the border. 

"After 18 years of fantastic fooling, Shawn Cuthill is one of the internets premier tricksters" said Dillon from Bee headquarters in Jupiter, Florida. "From his classic Amish Pandemic spoof to pretending his son was a bitcoin millionaire, Shawn has proven nobody is safe from his gags on April 1st. We wanted to harness that hilariousness and approached Shawn about taking the Bee to the home of the Beaver - Canada!"
The new spin-off website which will be called "THE BABYLON BEAVER" launches today, April 1st to celebrate the Superbowl day of satire April fools. 
Earlier this month Cuthill flew to Florida to meet with Dillon, Kyle Mann and the rest of the Babylon Bee staff.  "Who else could we find in Canada that is openly Christian, creative, callous and confusing - the 4 pillars of our corporate mission statement - to expand the Beehive" 

"I gave up trying to tame his inner prankster years ago" stated Cuthill's wife Hayley. "I figured it was time to embrace his talent for trickery with this new venture. In recent years the whole family got involved. Our daughter was spoofed being Anne of Green Gables, our son became a bitcoin millionaire, our other son photographed the Amish prank and I even got dressed up in a Burka one year! It's a family tradition!

Visit Cuthill's new website at:

April foooooooools! Or is it??

Friday, April 01, 2022

Ontario to recognize Ramadan as official holiday. 30 days off for eligible workers

On the eve of Ramadan, the latest election ploy by the Ontario Conservatives proposes Muslim workers be granted 30 days paid leave in accordance with their faith.

"My friends, it's time for us to move past the Judeao-Christian holiday schedule and embrace the diversity that makes Ontario great" Ford said during a press conference at The Islamic Society of Toronto 'Darus Salaam' Mosque in Thorncliffe Park.

The same day, a new poll had the Conservatives with a sizeable 10 point lead with just under 3 months to go until the June 26th Ontario election.

"This year Ramadan will be extra special, as our government will officially recognize the holy month as a statutory holiday. We know the struggle our Muslim friends face during this month, not eating all day at their jobs and then having to stay up all night being force fed by aunties while visiting mosques to catch up on religious duties they neglected for the rest of the entire year" Ford continued "With this new holiday, our government will make sure no Muslim Ontarians will have to suffer the sleep depravation, bad breath, blurry eyes, low blood sugar and diabetic tendencies that we all know and love during this wonderful joyous spectacular holy month which I am obligated to only speak about in glowing terms."

Mosque leader Aly Hindy commented on Ford's plan: "We are pleased that the premier recognized one aspect of our religion, and we thank him for that, but we continue to push Mr. Ford to recognize the multiple marriages our faith allows us which we currently have to hide from his government!!"

Noteworthy in this announcement is the fact that last election Ford lost both of the largest Muslim ridings, Flemingdon Park and Thorncliffe Park (and losing to former Premier Kathleen Wynne at that). His government has been busy in the area working with Metrolinx to hand over 50 million dollars to help build a mega mosque which will host thousands of worshippers, while only providing 130 parking spaces. Traffic studies have been promised once its too late.

The announcement drew controversy as the proposed name of this holiday would be: RamaDOUG

Also controversial, under Ford's new holiday workers will have to apply for work permits and undergo a circumcision inspection which human rights groups have denounced.

Ford defended his decision by saying: "Look I'll just say Assa-lame-o-lake-umm to all my Muslim brothers who are here today and the sisters who I am told are here somewhere in the back. And listen folks please don't let April fools day overshadow the joy and happiness that comes from not even swallowing your spit from sun up to sun down for a whole month to earn Gods love. Any April fools jokes about Ramadan obviously will not be tolerated! 


For previous years April fools jokes CLICK HERE!

Monday, September 27, 2021

Cuthill of the day 27Sept2021 - Pastor Larry Cuthill

Alright athensBLOG fans, i'm rolling out a new feature on this blog, which is part of a project i've been working on through Covid/lockdown/plandemic to trace my family tree! Cuthill isnt the most common last name so while everyone was shut-in watching Tiger King i started sorting through some amazing old documents my grandpa Alex Cuthill gave me before he died in 2005.

That lead to starting the 'Cuthill ancestry' facebook group to help find other Cuthills and see how far back i could track my line:

Many Cuthills joined and we also spun off a private discussion group which has been amazing. I've met so many Cuthills, but the search continues for how we're all related. If you're a Cuthill please join and let us know how we're related!

One other feature i started was a 'Cuthill-of-the-day' to post in the facebook group when i would find interesting or newsworthy Cuthills. I figured one way to increase the google searches would be to feature these on my blog. So here is the 'Cuthill of the day for September 27, 20 21:

Pastor Larry and Patti Cuthill, Glenwood Presbyterian Church, Deland, Florida:

"Pastor Larry Cuthill with his wife, Patti Cuthill...said the idea came about five months ago, as church members were asking themselves how best to serve the Lord and their community.

“It’s not new,” Cuthill said. “Other churches and organizations have offered space, guidance and materials for a ‘community garden.’”

Also, a short bio on the church website: 

Dr. J. Lawrence Cuthill (Larry or Dr. C) came to us from Winter Park Presbyterian Church where he served 19 of the 47 years he has been ordained in the Presbyterian Church U.S.A. He is fond of saying he retired but “failed at retirement”, returning to serve as Pastor in late 2012 at Glenwood Presbyterian Church.

Thursday, April 01, 2021

Bitcoin frenzy turns 17-year-old Sylas Cuthill into Canada's youngest millionaire

A little back story on our bitcoin boy. As many of you know Sylas was a very active child, very interested in how things worked. When you'd tell him not to do something he would always ask why, or try it to see why you told him no. He had a very hard time in school and one year his teacher gave him a certificate awarding him the title "King of Questions" in the class. He developed a love for puzzles and Rubix cubes, solving 3x3, 4x4, 5x5 and other specialty cubes 

After this he began taking computers apart. All manner of gadgets, motherboards, monitors and wires. Whenever the school would have a computer problem they would call him over the intercom to come down to the office and fix it. Tech support, AV club, Minecraft servers consumed him. Even when he got suspended (several times) it was for changing teachers passwords, giving himself admin right on the TDSB network and emailing the entire school board! 

At this point Sylas was in middle school (where he won the IT award) and a few teachers really encouraged his potential. They would all talk about a new currency called "Bitcoin" and how it could be "mined". Sylas was still young but started slowly accumulating these "coins" along with all the other things he was trying. After this he was accepted into the STEM+ program in highschool and really started to get interested in tech and finance. We weren't sure what all these "coins" were but they were sure accumulating!! Could they really be worth something??

After 10 years of mining these coins Sylas was able to cash them in and become the youngest Millionaire in Canada!! We're so proud of our inquisitive little guy, who also got his drivers license this week. And can you guess what he wanted to do with his money?? That's right, buy the car he's been talking about his whole life - a TESLA!

Here he is at the dealership picking up his brand new car!! As you can see on the video his first reaction was "It smells like a million dollars baby!"

Previous years April fools jokes click here

Wednesday, April 01, 2020

Coronavirus drove me Amish: The true story of a city family that left it all

Dear friends,

Over the years many of you have connected with me on various internet platforms. From early tools the web offered us to communicate with like Hotmail, ICQ, Napster and MSN, it was a thrill to connect with so many of you. Then as the internet matured past the "Dot Bomb" era into 2.0 applications like blogs, discussion forums and Wikis, writing tools gave independent publishers power to share their ideas with the world! Next video sharing startup Youtube made sharing virtually any video of anything possible.

Then everything changed again when one Harvard student coded his new social website "The Facebook". At once all those shared items could be pooled together in profiles and our lives truly began to be lived out online for all the world to see. Like you, I dove head first into this promised technological utopia creating blogs like this one, forums, wikis, youtube channels, facebook pages and the like. After studying at college I worked in the IT field at a major bank. Technology was my life.

Now, in the midst of a global pandemic, we have finally seen the ugly truth about our Brave New Technological World! The Coronavirus COVID-19 has brought to the forefront what we can no longer ignore. We have been reduced to slaves! Lurching from day to day on our phones. Zombies. Captivated. Transfixed. Unable to break free.

I am announcing today that myself, along with my family, will no longer participate in this slavery!

Beloved, consider what this pandemic has shown us about the powers of darkness! Instead of simply hiding in the shadows, they are now not ashamed to show their faces in the light! Data breaches are as common as days of the week! Companies continue to mine data from smart TVs and smart phones despite court orders, fines and outrage! There is no stopping the Antichrist from establishing his one world government and implementing the mark of the beast!

How far can we be from embedded microchips?

Or is it already too late? Are we already in the end times? Beloved take heed!
Join me in taking back our souls, our freedom, our minds and the future generations of children who will be enslaved by this system. Join me in returning to a simpler, more biblical time.

My family and I have sold all our belongings and purchased a farm 

to join with fellow believers who have already awoken to these truths. Make no mistake, we did not make this decision lightly. For years these thoughts have swirled, but now after being quarantined by our own government in our own houses and told where we can and cannot go we knew it was time to act. And act swiftly. Drastically. Emphatically. Our grandchildren and great grandchildren are watching. 

Friends, from this day forward I will no longer be using this grid of information. No more posting on the internet. No more using electricity to determine our movements. No more cell phone towers towering, no more radio waves waving. No more microwaves, ocean waves, flag waves! No more hand-shaking, fist-bumping, mood-altering, chemical-engineering, mandalorian-ing! No more baby-yodas, bird surveillance, drone-footage, squirrel reconnaissance, society-conforming, toilet-paper-hoarding, hand-sanitizing, video-gaming, netflix-binging, insta-gramming, meme-sharing! I will NO LONGER LIVE LIFE THROUGH ANY FILTER

If you see with spiritual eyes, like i do, then join me at our new family farm!

We own 75 acres of pristine land set aside for anyone who wants to be part of God's remnant on earth.
Join us before it is too late!
Join us while there is still time!
Join us in this AMISH PARADISE!!

After much prayer and thought our new community will be know as: 

The Valley of FOOLS


Happy April Fools!! 

Tuesday, February 18, 2020

Toronto: You my Chick-fil-A

In case you missed the grand opening of Chick-Fil-A in Toronto this fall here's a short video of all the pandemonium featuring yours truly! Recently Chick-fil-A opened their second store in Toronto at Yorkdale mall with much less fan fare. In total 15 stores are planned: 

Tuesday, December 31, 2019

The decade of double-yoke blessing

Each Christmas I spend the month of December making social media. posts with the hashtag #30DaysOfChristmasSelfies. This allows us to show details of our Christmas outreach and give some insight into our life and ministry.

For my final post of 2019 (and the decade of the 2010s) i posted last picture taken last decade (Dec 2009). 
Hayley was making breakfast with Olivia and cracked 5 double-yoke eggs in a row. Looking back now i can see that it was a prelude to a decade of Gods tremendous double-yoke blessing on our lives!! Here are a few highlights:

*Family blessing as all 3 kids were accepted and graduated from the TDSBs gifted program. 

*Spiritual blessing as God worked in our hearts to heal, grow and break generational sins

*Ministry blessing as we grew to over 10 staff, 7 underground churches in 5 languages.

*Financial blessing as God opened the door for us to buy a (fixer-upper) house in Toronto and rent it on Airbnb

*Personal blessing as we were able to learn how to take vacations and rest in Antigua, Arizona and Disney

And so many many many more!

Lord, you are too good to us! We trust you for the next decade and dedicate it to you!!
Happy New Decade!!

Monday, April 01, 2019

Introducing : Face Tattoos for Christ

As many of you know Hayley and I got our wedding rings tattooed on when we got married.
This was a way to show that our commitment to each other would last forever.
Thinking about my relationship with Jesus recently I was convicted that I wasn't showing the Lord the same level of commitment. So I decided to get a face tattoo. I know i know it's a bit extreme, but talking it over with Hayley we decided it was the right thing to do. Now hear me out.

I got the tattoo this weekend and a few close friends and I saw the impact the tattoo had as i ordered McDonalds, walked through the mall and rode the TTC. So many people asked me about it and we realized it wasn't just a way for me to show my commitment to Jesus, it was also an amazing way to reach out!
The next generation is tattooing their faces at an alarming rate. Everyone from Justin Bieber to Post Malone has a tattoo on their face. We realized having tattoos of Jesus on our faces was the perfect way to reach the next generation!!

So with a little help and prayer a new ministry was born:

Face Tattoos For Christ!

FTFC seeks to reach the next generation where they are in a way they understand
As the Bible says: we should become "all things to all people that we might reach some"
If Paul were here today perhaps he would say: "to the thug i became a thug", "to the mumble rapper i became a mumble rapper", "to the instagram model i became an instagram model"

Get involved in this exciting ministry:

DONATEIf we can raise $10,000 another pastor in our network will get a face tattoo! 

TAT YOUR FACE: Send us a pic of your face tattoo for Jesus

GUEST SPEAKER: Invite a guest speaker to your church to share about Face Tattoos for Christ

More info about this exciting ministry on our facebook page:

Since we are a new charity we will only be accepting donations until 12 noon on April 1st.
Happy APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, December 22, 2018

Lukas' baptism!

Proud moment in the Cuthill home as Lukas decided to get baptized this fall!! Him and a few friends provided a very special service on Dec 16, 2018. Below are two videos. One is his testimony and the other is the baptism. Pray for Luke as he grows into a wonderful young man:

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Terrorism or Autism? The Alek Minassian dilemma

Toronto van attack: Terrorism or Autism? 
The events of April 23rd rocked those of us that live in the city of Toronto. A lone attacker, Alek Minassian, rented a van and drove on the sidewalk at pedestrians, southbound on a 3km stretch of Yonge Street from Finch to Shepherd Ave. Horrific scenes of bodies and emergency vehicles followed in the media for days. Our daughter was on a field trip at this intersection the week before. Far too close to home in so many ways.

As the city mourned the 10 dead and 14 injured, many continued to cry out in despair: "WHY?!". Who would do such a thing? Did he have ties to extremist groups? ISIS? Anti-women groups? What did his facebook say? Lots of questions but not many answers. While we wait for answers let me attempt to put a few of the puzzle pieces together (Autism pun intended!). This in no way is an excuse for Minassian's behaviour, or an exhaustive investigation. The Police will provide further details, however based on what has already come out this is simply an attempt to learn from the situation in order to get perspective and help those in Minassian's situation in future.

Minassian's highschool picture
Further details may emerge but so far here is what we know:

1. Minassian had social problems in elementary school
According to Shanon Goel who attended Sixteenth Ave Public School with Minassian: "“I just remember him acting out,” she said. “He would throw fits, he would always act out, and it was hard for people to control him.
2. In highschool Minassian was in a program for teens with special needs at Thornlea Secondary School:
a high school program for students with special needs where he would often walk the halls with his head down and hands tightly clasped, according to former classmates...making meowing sounds
3. In 2009 Minassian was part of the Helpmate program: 
Minassians LinkedIn profile
In 2009, Sona Minassian was quoted in a story in the Richmond Hill Liberal lamenting that her son, who suffered from a form of autism, was at risk of losing access to a special program called Helpmate that assisted the teen to “work though his cognitive barriers and prepare him for the workplace.”
4. Minassian attended Senecca college for 7 years (from 2011 to 2018) and had just graduated:
One Seneca student in computer studies said Mr. Minassian had graduated from the program just last week. The student shared with The Globe and Mail a message Mr. Minassian sent to the group “out of the blue” on April 19 telling off his classmates. He added that he believed Mr. Minassian was at Seneca for seven years because he held down several software development jobs.

Few of these details are being mentioned or focused on by authorities, politicians or the media. Piecing together the special needs of someone like Minassian should be an important step in the investigation and perhaps this will eventually become the focus, however from my personal experience this is often sadly overlooked.
As we have seen from the Chazz Petrella saga, kids with Autism need routine and a different learning environment. In Patrella's case his special program was coming to an end and the fear and dread of being put back into the regular school system was too much for him to bear. Petrella eventually chose to end his own life at 12, rather than go back to the system that he didn't understand and didn't understand him. 
More on Chaz here: 

Our own son Sylas (here) has had his own unique challenges with the school system. He was on the Autism spectrum but was not diagnosed by experts or teachers for the first 10 years of his life. Suspensions, children's aid, safety plans and progressive discipline all were unable to get to the root of the problem. Finally in Grade 6 a proper diagnosis by an observant principal literally saved his academic career. We thank God for her every day.

Recently Sylas was participating in an Autism study where he went for a brain scan. While talking with the nurse she commented on how kids who are "high functioning" - like Sylas, like Patrella, like Minassian i am guessing - are only just now starting to receive support in the school system and through specialized programs. She continued with a comment that I will never forget: "Older kids unfortunately didn't get this chance - the school system chewed them up and spit them out and they either ended up in jail or worse". Only now are we starting to understanding and get help for the Sylas' of the world.

What am I saying here?

More programs are needed for kids with Autism. Young kids who are misunderstood. Teenagers who are bullied. Kids who graduate out of the school system and are launched into an unforgiving, confusing, harsh world. Pray for parents who are out of options as kids age-out of special programs. Time will tell what the issues were with Alek Minassian, however my guess is he completed school and had to face a world he was very afraid of. A world he didn't understand. A world he didn't feel part of. A major issue for parents like us with Autistic children. While we grieve the loss of lives and look for a motive, let's prepare to do something if we indeed find out this is what it is. 

God help us all understand these wonderfully confusing difficult challenging complex children on the Autism spectrum!

*UPDATED 01May2018:

Some great reporting from Global News as they interview Bruce McIntosh of the Ontario Autism Coalition (side note, their website features the hashtag #AutismDoesntEndAtSchool which may be very relevant to the Minassian situation). Watch as he rightly explains: 
"People with Autism don't always recognize when something is not quite right about the way that people are perhaps manipulating them"

Also, helpful commentary on the Toronto Star's article
Lewis said many incels self-identify as autistic. “You get a lot of people kind of embracing that identity, whether or not they’ve actually been diagnosed with autism,” she said. “It’s become this broader meme for being socially awkward and that’s yet another reason why they don’t see themselves as advantaged or privileged in society.”